Healthy Conflict In Relationships

Wednesday, November 10th, 2021

No matter how challenging the relationship is, if two people are willing to put the effort in, they can absolutely reap the reward of heart connection.
Lonnie & Amy Robbins


Welcome to God Today. We’re Lonnie and Amy Robbins with Pure Life Counseling, and have today, actually, we’re going to talk about healthy conflict within marriage and work relationships. Alright. Have you ever been in a relationship where you say one thing, but they hear a complete another? Or how about where they tell you about you, but they get it completely wrong? Well, a few things really, really reveal character more than how a person treats one another in the midst of a disagreement.

It’s true. And often in relationships where there are extreme differences, conflict is inevitable. Don’t feel too special. We all go through it. We need to attack the problem, though, and not the person. Being able to recognize that the person is not the problem is actually half the challenge. And then in the marriage relationship, we got to remember that we have two different people coming together that are not only learning about each other, but often learning about themselves for the first time. We all face differences and experience points of conflict together. And whether that’s in the work relationship and other friendship relationships and in the family dynamic, but no matter how challenging the relationship is, if two people are willing to put the effort in, they can absolutely reap the reward of heart connection. So in the midst of this, of course, Lonnie and I have been through this ourselves together and in other relationship dynamics. And so God has breathed on us and given us 10 do’s and don’ts for healthy conflict. And we want to share that with you. We’re going to read off of Amy’s phone.

So I’ll share what we do, and Lonnie will share what we don’t do. So, number one, we both show up in authenticity, but we don’t ignore and we don’t shut one another out. We allow The Holy Spirit to lead us. But we’re not led by our feelings alone. We assume the best of one another, and we don’t make negative assumptions of one another. Number four, we cultivate honor and respect. So we don’t dishonor or disrespect each other. We communicate our own need. We don’t expect them to read our minds. And number six, we exchange our truth, and we don’t project on each other. Number seven, we listen to understand, but we don’t listen just to defend our point or our viewpoint.

Number eight, we reach for connection, and we don’t isolate or try to punish each other. Number nine, we are, we are kind with clarity, and we don’t want quick to make judgements. And last one, we are willing to adjust. And not only not having to be right for right’s sake. Yeah. Yeah. Colossians actually says it this way in 3:13, “Make allowance for each other’s faults. Forgive anyone who offends you, remember, the Lord forgave you first. So you must also forgive others.”

And I’ll tell you guys the best marriage is made up of two selfless lovers and two incredible for givers. Our marriage is a testimony of that. So let’s go after having this kind of marriage and healthy conflict, no matter where you face it. I’m gonna declare a blessing over you. May you experience all Abba has for you and your marriage and relationships. As you step into the fullness of who God has made you to be in Good and in challenging times.

Let’s pray together. God, we thank You for relationship. You’ve established it, You’ve ordained it, You’re covering it. And so God, we thank You that our communication would be precise. And that those that are even listening would have dynamic, uh, redos or do overs this week that they have breakout and breakthrough in every area, in the name of Jesus, Amen.